Ditch the Self-Reliance

One of my biggest struggles is self-reliance. As a single mom veteran, I’ve had this chip on my shoulder since I divorced many years ago. It escalated after being warned by others that I wouldn’t make it financially as a single mom of two kids. Divorce is hard enough without the added pressure of weighty opinions. Yet, without any other options I was forced to sift through my broken emotions as I toiled ahead in fear, hoping I would survive.

My saving grace was God and my church community. With two small kids and no family close by, I often had to jump on any opportunity of silence to read God’s word. One day, this beautiful Old Testament scripture became tangible sustenance for my soul; the LORD said to Aaron, “You will have no inheritance in their land, nor will you have any share among them; I am your share and your inheritance among the Israelites.” Numbers 18:20 (NIV).

I held on to this scripture throughout the years like a tangible resource. When I was physically, emotionally and spiritually wiped out and things were super tight financially, I would repeat it out loud as a reminder to myself; God is my share and inheritance in the land. What he can do for me with always...ALWAYS supercede what I can attempt to do in my own self-reliant ability.

A couple years after the divorce, I was faced with a lofty decision to leave a job I loved. I had missed every one of my daughter’s softball games because my employer was in the downtown area, and traffic was not on my side. So, I opted to take a job at my church in which I took a significant cut in pay.

Looking back, it was the best decision I could have ever made for myself and children. Not only did it afford me to be available for my kids, but the church job was also a place where I found healing for my soul, and my kids would find Jesus. It’s an absolute miracle that I was able to make it financially on my own, and if I’m honest I was always one payday from being homeless. My kids and I can testify that God always took care of us. We never lacked anything, and there are so many big things God did for us along the way.

Recently, after many years of single mom-hood I found myself falling back into a doubtful pattern leaning on what can I do vs. what can God do. After all God has done throughout the years, I can’t believe I’ve found myself trying to tap into my self-reliant ability and doubting if he'd show up again. I am so thankful for God's patience and graciousness toward me as he quickly brought it to my attention using another golden Old Testament scripture.

Scripture Reflection:

Thus says the LORD: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD. (I know this seems harsh but stay with me… sometimes I need harsh to get my attention) … For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, and whose hope is the LORD. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:5-8 (NJKV)

What a polar opposite – relying on my flesh and strength vs. trusting in what God can do. I don’t know about you, but I choose the latter… to trust in God. I must continually remind myself that I need him and to keep my self-reliance at bay. For he has been and will always be my share and inheritance in the land. A faithful God.

“I will betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness. Then you will know (recognize, appreciate) the Lord [and respond with loving faithfulness]. Hosea 2:20 (AMP)

Notice it says: I WILL, not maybe or might, but I will betroth you to Me in stability and in faithfulness. So, ditch the self-reliance and be quick to recognize God's faithfulness in your ever day life.